Notorious tea jenny that he is, Under The Counter was relieved to discover that a potential tea bag shortage has been avoided. This means his morning cuppa, his afternoon one, and all the ones in between will continue to be noisily slurped as usual, much to the delight of his co-workers.
It’s fair to say the Auld Boy’s typical shift consists of eight hours either drinking or making tea, broken up by a couple of brief work breaks and numerous trips to the toilet.
Anyway, it turns out that trouble was brewing at the UK’s only Tetley factory which, in an outstanding example of geographical determinism, is located near Stockton-on-Tees, right in the heart of Teesside.
A now-resolved row over pay meant the factory’s teabag makers, infused with a desire for a decent wage, had voted overwhelmingly to down whatever tools teabags are made with.
But what would the brand’s loveable cartoon brand ambassadors, the Tetley Tea Folk, make of such industrial unrest?
Given the factory’s predominantly female workforce, they’d probably say – in a Yorkshire accent – “Where did all these women come from?”
For as UTC, steeped in radical feminism after watching the Barbie movie last month will tell you, it took the Tea Folk 17 years to recruit their first and only female member, Tina.
According to Wikipedia, Tina is “caring, fun loving and helpful,” which is all the patriarchy can ask of a token female really.
As a droll Auld Boy said: “The phrase ‘paint me blue and call me Smurfette’ springs to mind.”
