Under The Counter loves pakora. He famously once didn’t make it to the main course of an all-you-can-eat Indian buffet, crashing out early after scoffing 29 pieces of the deep-fried delicacy.
Scandalously, the Auld Boy had the nerve to blame a can of Irn-Bru he was concurrently consuming for his downfall. At any rate, there was no room left for some much-needed Gaviscon.
Anyway, the point is that UTC could neck pakora and Irn-Bru until the cows come home.
He was therefore slavering like Pavlov’s dug when he saw a video of Praveen Kumar making full fat Irn-Bru-flavoured pakora.
The Auld Boy is a big fan of Praveen and his wife Swarna; he’d love to meet the Kumars. On the not so rare occasions that Mrs UTC leaves the Auld Boy to fend for himself, he treats himself to one of the Perth-based chef’s ready meals that can be found in the freezer of any decent convenience store.
So the prospect of popping into Premier to pick up pakora pleases him no end.
However, his enthusiasm waned when he found out that the principal ingredient of said starter was the humble mushroom. Under The Counter is not fond of vegetables – he didn’t get to his age by eating healthily – and he positively hates mushrooms. The Auld Boy is not a fan of fungi.
And, as a straw poll of his colleagues would reveal, he’s not much of a fun guy himself.
Which goes some way to explaining why he increasingly finds himself alone, eating ready meals for one.
