Under The Counter didn’t host a coronation tea party. He didn’t even think tea parties were still a thing until he received an unsolicited email from the delightfully named RIFT Tax Refunds, a company which UTC surmised must specialise in exploiting some belching-related HMRC loophole.
Anyways, RIFT had temporarily ceased hostilities with the taxman to waste its time comparing the cost of a 1953 tea party with its 2023 equivalent. The results won’t shock you.
It analysed the current prices of 11 tea party essentials from bread to cheese, beer to biscuits and, obvs, tea, milk and sugar, before looking at how the cost of these items differs when compared to the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II back when UTC was merely middle-aged.
The Auld Boy, it must be said, raised a wiry eyebrow about the inclusion of beer on the list but conceded it was probably the only way you’d lure him to a tea party.
The bad news for him is that in real terms, the price of a pint of beer has more than doubled over the past 70 years, rocketing from the equivalent of £2.04 to the current average price of £4.50.
But if the prohibitive cost gets UTC to reduce his alcohol consumption, it can only be a good thing. For, as anyone who has ever popped into the Rhoddie Dhu for a pint with the uncouth old chap will testify, he too is a specialist in belching. And very, very taxing.
