You couldn’t make it up. Plant-based food giant Beyond Meat’s Chief Operating Officer (ironically, COO for short) has been arrested for allegedly biting a man’s nose during a bust-up in a parking garage in Arkansas.
Douglas Ramsey – who looks about to go for the photographer in his mugshot above – was charged with third-degree battery and “terroristic threatening,” which Under The Counter said is just American legalese for “acting like a bampot”.
The COO/bampot is now out on 10 grand’s-worth of bail. A preliminary police report said he became involved in a dispute with another driver and bit the unfortunate fellow, “ripping the flesh on the tip of the nose”.
UTC thought that a nose about (pun intended) in Dougie’s CV could go some way to explaining his egregious behaviour. It turns out that, prior to Beyond Meat, the nostril nibbler spent 30 years with US meat packer Tyson Foods.
It can be no coincidence, the Auld Boy proposed, that the company shares a name with boxer Mike Tyson, who achieved notoriety way back in 1997 – when UTC was merely middle-aged – for biting off and spitting out a chunk of rival pugilist Evander Holyfield’s right lughole.
But at any rate, let’s pray that when the case comes to court and Ramsey is hauled before the beak, he isn’t tempted to sink his teeth into it.
