Considering he’s SLR’s curmudgeon in chief, it’s no surprise that Under The Counter thinks ‘fun’ and ‘food’ don’t belong in the same sentence.
This stems from when Young UTC was on the wrong end of an almighty clip round the lughole after his mum caught him making rude words from Alphabetti Spaghetti.
So his hackles were raised when the American ‘Fun’ brand of chicken nuggets made headlines. That is, until he found out limited amounts of the dinosaur-shaped delicacies were being recalled by manufacturer Tyson Foods after some were found to contain small bits of metal. UTC loves a good product recall, you see.
Two things struck the Auld Boy about this story. Firstly, that his next-door neighbour was once the proud owner of a Rottweiler called Tyson, a vicious brute that looked like it was permanently chewing on a chicken nugget containing small bits of metal. Secondly, that Tyson Foods has an interesting take on what a “limited amount” constitutes.
For its recall is “limited” to a mere 30,000lb of nuggets. That’s 13 tonnes. Don’t worry if you can’t get your head round the number; if there’s one thing UTC loves more than a good product recall, it’s a stat involving double-decker buses or Olympic-sized swimming pools.
According to the Auld Boy, 13 tonnes is about as much as a double-decker bus weighs. Furthermore, he reckons you could easily fill half of an Olympic-sized swimming pool with the offending nuggets.
UTC’s fun stopped, however, when a colleague casually asked him if he was referring to the deep end or the shallow end of the pool. The poor old fellow is still thinking about it.
