Despite outward appearances to the contrary, UTC prides himself on being an egalitarian, broad-minded man of the world. Except, of course, when it comes to watching England at the fitba.
Having enjoyed the Scotland game immensely, he grew increasingly nervous as the matches passed and it looked like our English cousins might actually end up winning the damn thing.
The ‘football’s coming home frenzy’ was reaching fever pitch, especially after England did a number on the Germans then beat Denmark with a dive from Raheem Sterling that Tom Daley would have been proud of, as this till receipt from a Londis store in Weymouth shows. It was either bizarre luck or a staff member with too much time on their hands. You choose.
Whatever it was, Chiellini’s rugby tackle and the 17ft Italian goalie did the bizzo and we’ll be spared endless re-reruns of the match for the next 50 years.
Time to dust off the Geoff Hurst footage once more.