Red Bull may well give you wings (actually it doesn’t, hence the ‘wiiings’ spelling in its ads) but Utterly Butterly has gone one better and is giving shoppers the chance to win a £500 wing walking experience.
Under The Counter was understandably horrified by this. The Auld Boy hasn’t got much of a head for heights. He dreads the annual nerve-shredding ascent of a ladder to recover his tatty wee tinsel Christmas tree from the loft every December.
So, the thought of a wing walking experience appalled him. Bowel-emptying sheer terror would be the only thing he experienced. The Auld Boy didn’t imagine the pilot, sited immediately below and slightly to the rear of the wing walker, would be too thrilled at this turn of events either.
The only positive UTC could take from the prize would be the chance to get a gander at a biplane up close. He’d only ever seen them as dots in the sky before, as he cowered in a trench on the Western Front.
That last bit is made up; a lily-livered Auld Boy managed to dodge the call-up for both World Wars.
