A long-time customer of William Hill, Under The Counter has watched his coppers disappear on the backs of a fair few donkeys over the years.
He therefore feels a special connection with the much-put-upon beasts of burden.
So he was horrified by some news from Nigeria which, as UTC explained, went some way to explaining why Eeyore always looks like he’s lost a tenner and found a lump on a testicle.
If reports are correct, it’s not just his tail that Winnie-the-Pooh’s downbeat chum might struggle to keep hold of in future. For – in perhaps the world’s weirdest customs bust – 16 sacks containing thousands of donkey penises were seized last month at Lagos international airport, en-route to Hong Kong.
Now what could someone want with thousands of equine members? According to UTC, their consumption is said to boost sexual prowess, although he suspiciously refused to elaborate further.
The intercepted consignment was falsely declared as “cow male genitals”. Credit is due, then, to the diligent customs official who could tell the difference. Apparently, a pungent smell coming from the sacks gave the game away. Who knew that donkey dangly bits were so rank?
“So, there you have it,” the Auld Boy concluded. “Winnie might poo, but Eeyore’s willy smells worse.”
