David vs Goliath. Coke vs Pepsi. Hamilton Accies vs Motherwell.
There have been some legendary tussles over the years, some short, others more prolonged affairs. But even the Ali vs Foreman ‘Rumble in the Jungle’ didn’t rumble on for as long as the supermarket-chain-against-Nordic-nation legal wrangle, Iceland vs Iceland.
If you’re not familiar with the case, then it’s time to send you to sleep with some background.
The pair have been in court on and off for the best part of a decade squabbling over the right to call themselves Iceland
In one of its less-well-thought-out decisions, the EU finally let the shop trademark the name in 2014 after 12 years of trying, prompting much ire in the land of ice and fire.
Amazingly, and no doubt to the ongoing delight of its lawyers, the company then tried suing the country to stop the phrase ‘Inspired by Iceland’ appearing on the nation’s groceries.
EU judges came to their senses in 2019, ruling that a supermarket founded in 1970 “cannot reasonably trademark the name of a country that has been around since the ninth century”.
Now, the frozen food retailer is trying – again – to overturn that verdict.
Under The Counter has no time for court cases, however. He’s more Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul than Kramer vs Kramer.
So, in that spirit, he proposes a celebrity punch-up to resolve the dispute once and for all.
This would see the company’s brand ambassador Josie Gibson swap the prawn ring for the boxing ring and – UTC hopes – mangle fey avantgarde warbler Bjork the same way the latter can mangle a tune.
