Operation Golden Orb is not the title of the next James Bond film but the code name for the coronation of Prince Charles, as Under The Counter keeps calling our new king.
To be fair to UTC, Charles was prince for a considerable time. The only person who can rival his mum for time spent on the throne is possibly the Auld Boy himself, although the less said about his lengthy spells away from his desk with a red face and a Racing Post the better.
The coronation itself also brought a dash of colour to UTC’s cheeks, when he discovered it cost somewhere between £50m and £100m. This was a lot cheaper than Bond’s last £250m outing. It was also a lot more cheerful.
Try telling that to UTC though, who was outraged that so many of his hard-earned tax dollars got splurged on the ceremony.
The tight-fisted Auld Boy was in a minority though, as Brits blew around £10m on balloons, bunting and banners to mark the big day. The most-searched-for decorations on Amazon were crowns which, at an average cost of £7.34, were considerably cheaper than the actual one plonked on Charlie’s nut.
The St Edwards Crown is valued at upwards of £4m for the materials alone and ironically, as UTC was at great pains to point out, only graced the King’s napper briefly in Westminster Abbey, never to be worn by him again. This, UTC whined, is not good value for money.
By comparison, the Auld Boy’s bunnet, which we hesitate to put a price on, is seldom off his head and does a far better job of keeping his bald spot warm than “any fancy bejewelled number with holes in it”.
