Under The Counter, like any right-thinking person, despises both practical jokes and practical jokers. Back in the day, he had recurring nightmares about being stuck in a lift with Jeremy Beadle.
However, the Auld Boy had to force his falsers into a semblance of a smile when the BBC’s live coverage of an FA cup fixture between Wolves and Liverpool was disrupted by what has variously been described as “sexual noises”, “a woman’s loud moaning” and “the sounds of pornography”.
As everyone knows by now, a studio-bound Gary Lineker was attempting to talk to Alan Shearer in the commentary gantry when the sounds of pornography started blaring out in the background. The X-rated noises were later found to be coming (no pun intended) from a mobile phone that looked even older than UTC and had been stuck to the back of the studio’s wall; a ‘strap-on,’ as BBC Sport’s Kelly Cates called it.
The cunning stunt, which made headlines around the world, was the work of the YouTube generation’s very own Jeremy Beadle, so-called “notorious prankster” Dan Jarvis.
It also marked a first for the UTC household. Whenever Lineker normally appears on the Auld Boy’s box, Under The Counter himself supplies all the moaning. Usually along the lines of “Get that overpaid crisp flogger aff my telly!”
