They say that the older you get the quicker time goes – which partly explains UTC’s difficulty with accepting that it’s almost Christmas again.
According to him, Christmas only happened about a fortnight ago. Bland turkey, over-cooked veg, having to spend all that time with the family. Not his bag.
And neither for that matter are Brussels sprouts. Or gin. So words cannot convey the disgust on the auld yin’s wizened face when he learned of a new launch for this Christmas from Pickering’s: Brussels sprouts flavoured gin.
Edinburgh-based Pickering’s says its ‘legendary’ gin baubles – their choice of words, not ours – are receiving the “ultimate Christmas twist” which apparently involves distilling 10,000 Brussels sprouts from Arbroath to deliver a gin with “an unmistakably sprouty aroma with a surprisingly sweet, slightly nutty taste with a green, herbaceous and peppery twang”.
UTC’s thoughts? “Naw. Just naw.”
On a positive note, proceeds from the sale of every bauble of sprout gin are going to Contact the Elderly’s Community Christmas campaign. Monies raised will fund Christmas lunches for those who would otherwise spend Christmas on their own.
“Chance would be a fine thing” was the only comment the old boy had about the prospect of spending Christmas alone.
